Darkness, My New Friend

You haven’t seen me around much lately. I’ve neglected this blog, your blogs and social media. And I didn’t let anyone to know why. I’m really sorry about that.

I was afraid and ashamed. And numb.

I had a breakdown and I had to just rest for a few days. After that it’s been a slow recovery. Happy pills have helped, and it was a huge relief to finally admit there was a problem.

I’ve had to be strong for too long for my stressed husband and our twins. And I’ve had way too much on my plate for years.

The worst thing was that I’ve kept all my emotions and fears bottled up, never sharing them. People close to me were shocked that this happened because they had no idea of what was going on behind my ‘all is well’ facade.

Instead of tackling things one at a time (or admitting to anyone that I needed help), I just hid my head in the sand and ignored everything, wishing it would go away when I pretended all those duties didn’t exist.

Even when I tried to do something, I just couldn’t. I didn’t care and the consequences of betrayed promises didn’t feel like anything either. The simple tasks of clothing and feeding my kids and getting them to daycare were an epic struggle and left me sapped.

My favourite things were too much. Reading was meh and blogging felt like an impossible chore. The only thing I wanted to do was watch the Vampire Diaries obsessively.

Did the depression make me ignore everything or did I get depressed because I did? (There, I said the dreaded D word.) I don’t know which was the cause and which the consequence. Likely both fed each other in a nasty downward spiral.

But I know that this needs to stop. I want my life back. I want to feel good things again, not just the lethargy.

I want to be reliable and productive again. And to never go back to the dark place.

It will take baby steps to the right direction. Opening up to people close to me, asking and accepting help, delegating and no way in hell adding anything new to my to do list.

Getting out of the house daily, excercising a little and eating healthy are also big things on my agenda.

Please be patient with me. I will figure this out.

My plan for November, the NaNoWriMo month, is to focus on my writing. This blog will be mostly on a hiatus until December. But since I still enjoy putting together the Link Feasts, I’ll likely do one or two during November.

I’ll be also working slowly on the Myers-Briggs posts during November, and will post new installments as soon as I’m done.

(Btw, the title is a homage to Anne R. Allen’s excellent post Hello Darkness, My Old Friend. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. Worth reading is also therapist and writer Louise Behiel’s informative post about depression.)

I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Have you or someone close to you ever felt depressed? How did you/they cope with it?

INTJ – Artemis, the Strategist and the Scientist

Welcome to the third part of the Myers-Briggs personality type blog series. If you missed the first post where I explained what the system is about, head there to catch up.

Mr Darcy INTJ Myers-Briggs

Mr. Darcy is INTJ

Today’s type is INTJ. The abbreviation stands for Introvert iNtuitive Thinking Judging.

INTJs walk the roads less traveled. They’re independent and strong-willed and determined enough to finish what they start. These visionaries focus on power, not over people but over nature. They strive to understand, control, predict and explain how the world works. They desire competency and respect intelligence.

Since they want to be great at what they do, INTJs can be very self-critical. The quest for knowledge and thirst for excellence can also lead to “all work and no play” mentality. But work is often play for INTJs.

They are one of the types with the highest average IQ. Others may feel intellectually inadequate around the INTJ as they’re not shy with showing how smart they are.

Being introverts, INTJs prefer their hobbies and interests over social events. They might not have a wide circle of friends but they are extremely loyal to their closest people. Even though they might not appreciate their friends’ foibles in other people, INTJs tolerate more from the people they love.

INTJs can have a rebellious streak in them even as adults. They follow rules only if they are useful and make sense. For example, in teenage an INTJ might become a vegan or start dressing in punk fashion, and an adult INTJ could surprise people around them with an unusual career choice. Authorities get similar pragmatic treatment. They are respected only if they earn it.

INTJ is more common type in men than in women. In fact, INTJ is the rarest type among women. NT women  can have a difficult time in our society because people tend to perceive them as being too masculine, or “unfeminine” due to their reliance on facts over feelings.



  • Creative
  • Strong insights and intuitions
  • Find new angles and novel ways to do things
  • Most independent of all types
  • Usually self-confident
  • Determined
  • Competitive
  • Not afraid of conflict
  • Demanding
  • Fairly open to well explained criticism
  • Future-oriented
  • See the big picture
  • Grasp theories easily
  • Good at optimizing things

Severus Snape INTJ

Lessons INTJs Might Need To Learn:

Break your ideas to others step-by-step. It won’t be obvious to others how you came to that brilliant conclusion. Also, it won’t be obvious to others what you think if you don’t tell them.

Understand that others think different than you. It doesn’t mean their thinking is inferior. IQ and rational logic are just one type of intelligence. There’s also social intelligence that Feelers tend to be good at. And at least 7 other types. Appreciate their strenghts.

Be kind to yourself. You can’t give your 100% in everything. Choose the things that really matter to you and excel at them. Accept good enough performance in everything else.

Be kind to others. We’re all erring human beings. Even at work place, people have feelings that can get hurt. The sentimentality may baffle you but if you ignore it, the work efficiency will suffer due to the bad feelings. So, when someone makes a mistake, encouragement sometimes works wonders. And hey, praise is great every time someone earns it. That’s every time progress happens, not only when everything is perfect.

Your self-confidence can be interpreted as arrogance. And yes, it is your problem too, not just other people’s. You’re 100% convinced of your ideas but you need to convince others too, and really listen to their arguments. *gasp* Some of those arguments won’t be logical. Some of them will be based on feelings and fears. Rational arguments alone won’t beat those.

Sometimes it’s smart to agree to disagree rather than continue the argument until they see your side. Not everyone take criticism of their ideas as well as you do, and then those pesky feelings get hurt.

Don’t let change of plans drive you crazy. Nothing is permanent in this world except permanent change. Let others to explain why the changes are made and talk it through.


INTJs At Work

INTJs need an independent job with enough challenge to keep them interested. They are brilliant at grasping complex theories and applying them to problems to come up with long-term strategies. Vision and the big picture are their strenghts but INTJs prefer to present their ideas to others only when they are ready.

INTJs usually rise to positions of responsibility as they work hard and pursuit their goals steadily.

INTJs can be very demanding bosses with low tolerance for mistakes and inefficiency. They drive others as hard as they drive themselves. They might value people based only on what they they know and what skills they have.


Possible Career Paths:

  • Scientists
  • Social scientists
  • Engineers
  • Doctors and dentists
  • Professors and teachers
  • Corporate strategists
  • Business administrators
  • Military leaders
  • Lawyers and judges
  • Computer programmers and systems analysts


Inside the Mind of an INTJ: Plotting vs. Pantsing Our Novel

My INTJ guest is Marcy Kennedy, a talented writer, blogger and freelance editor. She has co-written a historical fantasy book, the Amazon Heir, together with Lisa Hall-Wilson.

Lisa’s type is ISFP (The Composer/Artist) so she and Marcy are different in how they take in information, make decisions and how final they want those decisions to be.

Here’s how Marcy and Lisa described their writing processes and the adventure of writing together.

We work really well together…most of the time. Our personalities blend well together…most of the time. But when we’re not on the same page, the results can be disastrous. Plotting is one of those places.


Lisa says: The fun in writing for me is exploring the story as I go on an adventure with my characters. ISFPs are all about the here and now – so I look for ways to make things feel fresh and new. I think you learn more from what you did wrong than what you did right a lot of the time. I have been known to write three or four vomit drafts before I really begin editing. Not very efficient, but far from a waste of time.


Writing with Marcy has been challenging at times because I like to try things out before making a final decision on whether it works. To me it seems like Marcy strives to write every scene perfectly with the first draft. Her instant dismissal of ideas that I’ve thoughtfully considered and put forth (but aren’t in “the plan”) has been hurtful and discouraging.


Marcy says: Much of the fun in writing for me is the planning because that’s where my creativity can shine best. It’s a game, like solving a puzzle. If you can write without a detailed outline and character sketches, you’re not an INTJ. INTJs usually have contingency plans for their contingency plans. Our plans give us the courage to write, and live, without fear, and make us great to have around when trouble hits. My first drafts still need editing, but the changes are relatively minor because I made my big mistakes and learned from them during the planning stage where they were easier to fix.


The uncertainty and figuring-it-out-as-she-goes that makes writing fun for Lisa destroys the fun of writing for me. It’s not only that INTJs love order and enjoy the planning process (we do); it’s also that we hate inefficiency. I get discouraged rewriting so many times. Lisa’s pantsing has made writing our book stressful and exhausting for me. I’ve felt like my process and my desires for the course of the story weren’t respected or even considered.


Lisa & Marcy say: We’re both very ready to look at doing something in an out-of-the-box way, but Lisa does it because the current way is broken, while Marcy does it because she’s constantly searching for a better way, a more effective way.


Our differences here have been a source of conflict because neither of us feels like we’re on our best game when we have to accommodate the other to any great degree. By meeting in the middle, Lisa has felt like she’s in the world’s strictest military bootcamp, and Marcy has felt like she’s jumping from a plane without a parachute and hoping they’ll figure out a way to not die before they hit the ground. But we didn’t give up.


And working together has forced us both to see the weaknesses inherent in our individual processes and find ways to improve on them. We’ve learned patience. We’ve learned persistence. We’ve also learned to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Neither of us means to hurt the other, tromp on their opinions or desires, or take away their joy.


Fascinating differences. Thank you very much, Marcy and Lisa. Sounds like you’ve both learned a lot from each others. I can’t wait to hear more about your book.

This Friday we’ll hear a bit more about how INTJs and INFPs make decisions. And I’ll cover Lisa’s type, the INFP.

Stay tuned. Meanwhile, lets continue with the INTJ profile and its mythical correspondences.


Mythical INTJ: Artemis

Artemis INTJArtemis was the goddess of the hunt in the Greek mythology and often depicted with her bow. She was also associated with forests, vegetation and the moon.

She was the daughter of Zeus and Leto and twin sister of Apollo, the god of the Sun. When Zeus gifted her brother a golden carriage and a golden bow, Artemis wanted a silver carriage, a silver bow, fleet-footed hunting dogs and twenty nymphs to accompany her.

Artemis chose to remain a virgin. She avoided men but enjoyed challenging them in masculine sports like hunting and shooting with a bow and arrows.

Men were enchanted by her beauty and tried to catch glimpses of her. When a hunter named Actaion saw her bathing, Artemis turned him into a deer and his own dogs killed him.

Tomboys, singles and Amazons are Artemis achetypes. She lived in close union with the nature so she had the keen senses and unpredictability of a wild animal. Due to her virginity she has innocence but also enough strenght to compete with any man. Since she has features of both genders, she is an androgynous figure.


Mythical INTJ: Prometheus

According to Keirsey system, the personality types with NT element belong to the Promethean temperament.

In the Greek mythology, Prometheus was a Titan, a culture hero and a champion of mankind known for his intelligence. His name means Forethinker.

He sided with Zeus and the gods in the battle against his parents and siblings, the Titans, and had strong sympathies for humans against the whims of the gods.

He tricked Zeus into choosing the bad parts of an animal as a sacrifice from humans. Enraged, Zeus took fire away from the people and hid it. Prometheus stole a spark, hid it inside a giant fennel-stalk and brought it to people.

As a punishment, Prometheus was chained to a rock in the Caucasus and his liver was eaten daily by an eagle, regenerating by night as he was immortal. Years later, the Greek hero Heracles (Hercules) slayed the eagle and freed Prometheus from his chains.

The myth of Prometheus shows that going against the prevailing mores and rules may bring mankind the “gift of fire,” but the personal consequences can be dire.

Prometheans can also focus only on making the gift possible and not think about the consequences. Nuclear weapons are one example. The archetype of scientific genius leading to tragedy made Mary Shelley give the subtitle Modern Prometheus to her Frankenstein novel.


Famous INTJs

Philosophers: Friedrich Nietzsche (nihilist), Karl Marx (father of communism), G.W.F. Hegel

Scientists & social scientists: Isaac Newton (physicist), John Maynard Keynes (economist), Nikola Tesla (inventor), Stephen Hawking (physicist)

Authors: Jane Austen (author of Pride and Prejudice), Ayn Rand (libertarian), Isaac Asimov (science fiction writer)

Others: Bobby Fischer (chess champion), James Cameron (director), Jodie Foster (actor), Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Bill Gates (chairman of Microsoft), Martin Luther (Protestant reformer), Betty Friedan (feminist), Mark Zuckerberg (CEO of Facebook)


INTJs in Fiction

Books & Comics: Mr. Darcy (Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice), Lisbeth Salander (Stieg Larson’s The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo), Raskolnikov (Dostoyevski’s Crime and Punishment), Professor Moriarty (Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes), Ozymandius (Alan Moore’s Watchmen comics), Severus Snape (J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter), Raistlin Majere (Tracy Hickman & Margaret Weiss’ Dragonlance series)

Movies: Clarice Sterling & Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs), Ellen Ripley (Alien)

TV Series: Greg House (House), Spock (Star Treck), Miranda Hobbes (Sex and the City)


INTJ Links

INTJ Relationships (Personality Page)

INTJ Central: Overview

Personality Desk: INTJ

Portrait of an INTJ by Elaine Sanders

Do You Think You’re a Strategist? You’re Probably Wrong by Penelope Trunk

Mr. Darcy’s Cognitive Functions (dominant, auxiliary, tertiary and inferior)

Dr. House’s Cognitive Functions


I’d love to hear from you. Do you know an INTJ? What is life like with them? Have you been in situations like Marcy and Lisa where you work with a person who is quite different type from you? How did it go?

INFP – Persephone, the Idealist and the Healer

Welcome to the second part of the Myers-Briggs personality type blog series. If you missed the first post where I explained what the system is about, head there to catch up.

Anne of Green Gables is Myers-Briggs INFJ

Anne of Green Gables is INFJ

This time I introduce the first of the 16 personality profiles: INFP. The abbreviation stands for Introvert iNtuitive Feeling Perceiver.

INFPs are dreamers and artists, teachers and healers. They are interested in people and have a high sense of honor derived from internal values. They usually have a few favorite causes they care about passionately.

The energy of INFPs comes from a rich internal world, their own thoughts and peace and quiet. Contemplation  and the quest for self-knowledge keeps INFPs in a constant state of flux. Ideas and new possibilities excite them, and they see alternatives and opportunities not evident to most.

Healers present a tranquil and pleasant face to the world. But underneath the reserved surface are strong emotions. Others may feel like INFPs are hard to get to know. Some may view them as shy. Those who take the time to get to know them will find them warm and gentle, with a surprising sense of humor. They care deeply for those they consider special friends. Small social circles satisfy them and they don’t actively get to know new people.

INFPs need harmony around them. Constant conflicts, arguments and grudges drain them. They are loathe to reveal negative emotions and try to control themselves.

Spontaneity and flexibility are great strenghts of INFPs but they can be on/off people. Interests come and go and many projects are never finished. Organization isn’t the strongest suit of INFPs. They might lose things or forget appointments.

They find day to day activities unfulfilling, and if the chosen job is all routine, INFPs can become quite unhappy. Variety and new things to learn is the name of the game. Leadership roles can also be challenging since they abhor conflict and don’t deal well with stress. INFP under stress can become quite critical and cynical.

Despite all their gifts, INFPs are cursed with indecision and self-doubt. They can be very self conscious and perfectionist tendencies make them too harsh on themselves. Their high standards can complicate team work. Too big work loads are common since INFPs find it difficult to say no.

Many INFPs are talented writers and prefer to express themselves through that medium.


Strenghts of INFPs

  • Strong values
  • Creative
  • Loyal
  • Nurturing & supportive
  • Good listener
  • Understands different people
  • Independent
  • Spontaneous
  • Flexible


Lessons INFPs Might Need To Learn:


  • Don’t worry so much about what other people think of you. Just be yourself and do your own thing.
  • Be more active and open. Challenge yourself to occasionally get in contact with completely new people.


  • Focus on the matters at hand instead of all the shiny possibilities. Yes, I know how fine they are. Sorry.
  • There can be too much information. Analysis paralysis is deadly for you.
  • Pay heed to schedules and deadlines. Well thought out is far from done.
  • Stop procrastinating. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow doesn’t yet exist. There is only this moment.


  • Sometimes things are just things. Don’t take it personally. Constructive criticism helps you to grow and learn.
  • Conflict is a great opportunity. When you express your worries and needs right, the situation improves.
  • Lofty principles regularly clash with the realities. Prepare for it and find a way to cope.
  • You can’t save the whole world and help everyone. Learn to say no to protect yourself.
  • When you start getting overwhelmed, take a time-out and ask for help. Don’t rush into lightning decisions.


  • Spontaneity is great but remember to keep others on the same page or you drive them crazy.
  • No new projects for you until you’ve finished the old ones.
  • Routine tasks suck for you. Make them fun or delegate.


INFPs At Work

INFPs want work that they find personally meaningful, just doing their job isn’t enough. The work needs to be in balance with their values, and preferably something that helps them and others to grow and thrive.

INFPs as leaders are passionate about their ideals and motivate others through encouragement and positive vision. They are supportive and creative leaders and most effective with small, cooperative teams of people that are similarly motivated to achieve a positive mission. Because of their flexible nature and strong desire for harmony, they may avoid conflict and delay making difficult decisions.

Possible Career Paths:

  • Writers, Artists & Musicians
  • Journalists
  • Graphic designers
  • Counselors & Social Workers
  • Professors & Teachers
  • Librarians
  • Psychologists & Psychiatrists
  • Religious occupations
  • Corporate Trainers
  • Human Resources Recruiters


Inside the Mind of an INFP (me)

I hate conflicts. Unless I’m really passionate about the issue, I either give in or walk away from from the situation.


But one day on a bus stop, I witnessed a scene I couldn’t close my eyes of.
Four boys, maybe 13 or 14 years old, stood in a group, and one of them constantly heckled another kid with the two others just watching by. Eventually he started pushing the skinny boy around physically.


I’m ashamed to say I was too coward to do anything right then. Like everyone else, I tried to pretend nothing was happening.


Then we entered the crowded bus and the boys ended up standing where I was with my kids on a stroller. And the bullying continued.


“Soon. Soon. Soon”, the bully crooned and the smaller boy shrank with each repeat.


Adrenaline surged through me until I was shaking.


“Your dick must be really small since you need to bully others”, I said, my voice strangled with emotion.


The boy flushed red and then paled. The bullied kid bit back a smile.


For the rest of the ride, I glared the little shit and he fidgeted, even asked me to stop staring. But I didn’t. He deserved every minute of discomfort.


Then the boys got off the bus and I heard the bullied one say: “Hey, wanna go to the mall?”


I don’t know if he was really brave or stupid. Maybe both.


Afterwards I was in a turmoil. I recalled moments from my own school years when I had been too afraid to stand up for myself. And how it encouraged the bullies. They’re like sharks who smell blood.


I wish I had told the tormented boy: “Ditch those losers who enable the bullying by not saying anything. They’re not real friends. You deserve better.”


But who am I to judge when I almost ignored the situation too.


I wonder if my words helped at all. Or made things worse. I still think the kid occasionally and wish him well.

Mythical INFP: Kore/Persefone

Kore was the daughter of Demeter, the Goddess of Harvest and Plants. Hades, the ruler of the Underwold, fell in love with her and kidnapped her. Demeter grieved her loss so hard that she refused to let the plants to grow.

A compromise was reached and Kore would spend four months of the year in the Underworld and the rest of the eight with her mother on earth. During the four months she is gone, the plants die and winter reigns. Kore brings the spring with her.

Eventually Kore grew to like her role as the Queen of the Underworld, and assumed the name Persephone. She was a kind ruler who helped mortals entering Hades to fulfill their quests. She gave Psyche her beauty serum that Aphrodite, Goddess of Love had demanded. It was the condition of Aphrodite allowing Psyche to marry her son Eros.

Persephone was also moved by Orpheus, who came to seek for his dead wife Eurydice. She allowed Eurydice to follow him but required Orpheus to not look back before they were both out of the Underworld. Unfortunately he couldn’t resist the temptation.


Mythical INFPs: Asclepius and Proteus

Male counterpart for INFJ could be Asclepius, the God of Healing and Medicine. He was the son of Apollo and when he brought a dead person back life, Zeus slayed him at the demand of Hades, Lord of the Underworld. After Asclepius’ death, Zeus placed his body among the stars as the constellation Ophiuchus (the Serpent Holder). An early Christian philosopher suggested that Asclepius’ healing powers foreshadowed those of Jesus.

Another great candidate is Proteus, an ancient Sea God who has the gift of foretelling and whose shape is as mutable as the sea.  From this feature of Proteus comes the adjective protean, meaning “versatile”, “mutable”, “capable of assuming many forms”.


INFJ Archetypes

In art Kore has been depicted as the eternal maiden, victim and martyr. But by becoming Persephone, she accepts her new reality and responsibilities. She is a woman who will always grow and develop. In literature and plays, she is the sensitive, vulnerable woman who is on a constant quest for her identity.

With a deep connection to the unconscious and her inner child, she is the archetype of the artist. Another archetype is an older woman who finally finds her real purpose in art, ideology or religion.

Like INFPs, Asclepius selflessly helped people. He is also associated with creativity through his snake-entwined staff, the symbol of medicine and pharmacy. Serpents and snakes represent fertility and creative life force. By sloughing off their skin, they symbolize rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing.


Famous INFPs:

Humanists: Helen Keller, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Søren Kierkegaard, Margaret Mead & Princess Diana

Writers:  J. R. R. Tolkien, Albert Camus, C.S. Lewis, Hans Christian Andersen, William Shakespeare, John Milton, William Blake, Edgar Allan Poe, Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, George Orwell, Antoine de Saint Exupery, A.A. Milne, J.D. Salinger & J.K. Rowling

Artists:  John Lennon, Andy Warhol, Vincent Van Gogh, Peter Jackson, Tim Burton, David Lynch, Alanis Morissette, Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp & Julia Roberts


INFPs in Books:, Movies & TV Series

Books: Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood & Remus Lupin (Harry Potter), Anne of the Green Gables (by L. M. Montgomery), Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger), Jane Eyre (by Charlotte Bronte), Odd Thomas (by Dean Koontz)

Movies: Frodo (Lord of the Rings), Luke Skywalker (Star Wars), Peter Parker (Spiderman as acted by Tobey Maguire), Belle (Disney’s Beauty and the Beast), Amelie (Amelie)

TV Series: Willow Rosenberg & Drusilla (Buffy The Vampire Slayer), Fox Mulder (X-Files), Deanna Troi (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Peter Petrelli (Heroes), Prince Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender), Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG1)

Motivational Posters For INFPs

Please leave a comment 🙂

Do you know an INFP? Have you ever written an INFP character? And do you have experiences about bullying? What would you have done in the situation?

Oh, and was this post too long? 😛 I could cut the mythology part off from the future posts if your eyes glazed while reading.

Myers-Briggs Personality Types: A Tool To Understand Ourselves and Others Better

What makes you you? Have you ever wondered about that?

Some tendencies you have from the moment you’re born, like the innate way to percieve the world and make decisions. Many of your strenghts stem from this internal hardware.

You aren’t a prisoner of the mental system, though. Yes, the natural temperament explains how you tend to do things. But your skills, values, beliefs and principles come with life’s experiences.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is one the systems to help you get how people tick.

Each of the 16 Myers-Briggs types is a unique combination of the following four traits:

  • Introvert/Extravert
  • Intuitive/Sensing
  • Thinking/Feeling
  • Judging/Perceiving

Your type is marked by a four letter abbreviation, like INTJ (Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging).

So, what does all that mean?

Fae Rowan explained the types in a superb way:

Let’s look at those first two letters  E or I, which refer to how you draw your energy from the world around you.  If you’re an E, you draw energy from people, things, and activities.  You tend toward breadth rather than depth.  You have a need for people.  If you’re an I, you draw your energy from the internal world of thoughts and ideas.  You prefer depth to breadth and pause to think about things.  You have a need for privacy.


Now for how you take in information, your second letter: N or S

If you’re in the N crowd, you prefer to take in information through a sixth sense, a gut feeling, your iNtuition.  You think about what might be.  You like the big picture.  You need possibilities. If you are with the S crowd, you prefer to take in information through your five Senses.  You like concrete and practical ideas.  You have a need for evidence.


The third letters, T or F, (no, not true or false)  refer to how you make decisions.

The thinking T emphasizes logic and reason, truth and fairness in decision-making, looking for objective balance.  T’s are unconsciously pre-occupied with truth.  The feeling F makes decisions based on personal values and people-needs. F’s are unconsciously preoccupied with harmony with others.


The final letter J or P shows preferences for lifestyle.

J’s prefer to live in a planned, organized style.  They like to come to conclusions quickly.  Their bottom line is control.  P’s enjoy spontaneity.  They’re flexible and adapt rather than needing to control.  They prefer to keep their options open.

Now you might be wondering what your type is. (Or what the type of your family, friends and characters is)

Here are a few online tests to help you figure it out:


Please remember that these tests aren’t 100% reliable. They give indications of your type but you can get different results every time, based on your mood and how you’ve recently responded to situations. The tests might have different emphasis too.

After taking the test, a good way to triangulate a match is to read the descriptions of the types that seem closest and see which fits you the best.


Over the next month, I highlight each type in their own post. I hope this blog series will give you some heurekas about yourself and people you know. Maybe you’ll also get new insights about the characters you write. Stay tuned for the INFP profile this Wednesday.

If you want to learn more right now, I have a few links for you:


I’d love to hear from you. Please take a moment to leave a comment 🙂

What is your Myers-Briggs type? How do you feel about your type? Has it affected your personal relationships and writing life?

The Fifteenth Letter – Alphabet Meme

WMyndi Shafer's YA bookten of her favorite things starting with letter B. The pretty picture on the side is the cover of her debut YA novel Shrilugh.

Myndi assigned me letter O and here are my ten O-words:
1. Orgasms

Come on, you knew this one was coming 😉 Sex is a great way of getting the endorphine rush. Next comes chocolate. And besides making you feel great, supposedly you burn 144+ calories per 30 minutes of vertical tango.

2. Organic Food

You are what you eat (and read). Don’t put too much junk in your system.

3. Obscure Knowledge

I’m a fount of random tidbits of useless knowledge. By the way, did you know that every year 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens? Yeah, Trivial Pursuit is a fun game.

4. Occult

All kind of mystical things, like feng shui and tarot, really fascinate me. And of course two of my favorite book genres are urban fantasy and paranormal romance, full of magic and strange powers. When I was a teenager, me and my friends tried out the Ouija board, and in my philosophy class I gave a presentation of Wicca. Not that I practice it myself but I find it really interesting.

5. Owls

The symbol of wisdom and just all around cute. I can be like the Owl from Winnie the Pooh.

6. Ogling Beautiful Pictures

That’s why Pinterest and I are a social media match made in heaven. Pinning is so much fun. You get to admire and sort all those pretty images.

7. Oomph

I love this word and what it stands for. Oomph is enthusiasm, vigour and energy (synonyms: pizzaz, zing and dynamism). And it’s also sex appeal and sultriness. A winning combination.

8. Oprah Winfrey

What an inspirational woman she is. She is smart, donates generously for charity and has founded a Leadership Academy for girls in South Africa. The Oprah Effect can lift any book to a best-seller list and her bookclub has likely boosted reading more than any single thing besides Harry Potter. And maybe now Fifty Shades of Gray.

9. Oodles of Books.

Ok, I kind of cheated just so I could include books on the list 😉 But oodles is a really awesome word.

10. Optimism

My glass is always half full. If things go wrong, I immediately start thinking how to fix them instead of bemoaning my bad luck and the unfairness of it all. Life is interesting in our house since my husband tends to be a pessimist.


Those were my ten. If you want to see more letters, Coleen Patrick covered L, K.B. Owens did R and Kassandra Lamb’s choice was S.


But do tell, what words would you pick for letter O? You’re most welcome to play too. Just say you’re game in the comments and I can give you a letter.

Teenage Crush: 4 Things That Won’t Impress The Guy

Dreadlocks made me look like a pineapple.

Today Fabio Bueno asked me to guest post in his blog and recommend some YA books.

That inspired me to look back at my days of sweet seventeen or so. I remembered some funny and sad moments of trying to get the attention of a boy.

Drinking soda while he is telling jokes is a bad combination. Wiping off coke that you burst on his face isn’t the height of romance. For some reason I never saw this guy again.

Similar hairstyle does not make you a couple. This teenage hunk had dreadlocks so I spent all the money I got as a Christmas present to get the look. Cheaply. I wore them for 6 months and got tired of the wet dog smell after the shower.

Calling him all the time gets old real fast. Thank goodness we lived in different cities so I didn’t escalate into Edward Cullen level of stalkering 😉 If he is interested, he’ll call you back if you just give him some time to do so. A few hours isn’t long enough.

He won’t fall for your booze tolerance. Getting totally wasted at his friend’s party is a bad idea. There might be some merit in one drink for courage but a bottle of wine is too much.

So, those were some of my embarrassing teenage crush moments. Have you ever had similar experiences? Did you discover ways to approach your dream guy/girl that really worked for you?


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